When Child Support Services FAILS
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BESIDE MYSELF!
Readers, I am outraged, and I want to hear from YOU single parents of minors who are also outraged at the lack of enforcement by County Child Support Services!
Here's my story. I was married, had a baby, and left that marriage when our daughter was only a year old. The marriage involved domestic violence, so with answered prayers, God provided my way out. I got a job six months before we left and I was able to rent an apartment and pay child care on a $12.00 p/hour salary. My ex and I agreed to a meager $200 p/mo. in child support, via stipulation.
I waited two years before filing a child support case with the Department of Child Support Services in my county. When it was all said and done, my ex said he could only "afford" to pay $350 p/mo. This would include current support, half her child care and $45 p/mo. towards arrears. I agreed. Due to missed payments and a pile-up of arrears, he was put on probation in June 2004 through June 2005. Since then, he's now up $17,000 + in arrears.
What does DCSS do? I requested a contempt hearing in 2008, and after two "continuations", a hearing was supposedly held in November. No Order After Hearing ~ no action was taken!!
Due to the recession, I became unemployed between December 2008 and May 2010, living on the maximum weekly benefit amount of only $475.00 p/week. I couldn't afford health insurance, so my parents jumped in to keep me covered. My daughter was covered by Healthy Families ~ that's how little income I was making. I cashed in my retirement account to pay off debts so we could make it without losing our home. I have been responsible to never be late on bills, including my mortgage.
I saw a pattern develop in child support payments: he would pay one month; skip two; pay one; skip two. What did DCSS say? "He has to be delinquent for three payments in a row before we enforce"???? OK ~ he's allowed to make four of twelve payments a year. Nice. DCSS will simply put his missed payments on his "tab". What about us?! Let's test DCSS and the court system a little more....In August of 2009 child support payments stopped completely! It's been over a year now! He's got it all figured out. He's only dealing with a barking 'dog' that has no teeth!! That's what DCSS and the Courts amount to. And if he's figured this out, how many more Obligors laugh at the threat of child support collections?
Are you outraged? I keep hearing from other mothers that had child support cases open in other counties where their ex'es got put in jail for missing a payment, or for unpaid arrears. Why don't they at least have him on probation?! Ha, ha ~ I asked this question of DCSS and it turns out he was ON probation when he was doing the one-on, two-off payments! What a joke!
He has no JOB to garnish. He has no BANK ACCOUNT to lien. Why? He's allowed to be in his own "cash-based" business. THAT'S WHY THERE'S DCSS and COURT ORDERED AMOUNTS, right? They could force him to seek work. Instead, he claims he's filing for disability....poor guy. So on we go with the "wait to enforce" syndrome. Where's the accountability? Where's the enforcement? So what ~ they suspended his driver's license. He still drove. They put on stop on his passport. He still went overseas several times! Come on ~ what's wrong with this picture?
I FINALLY had HOPE when DCSS officially charged him with contempt after a year's missed payments. He was officially arraigned, pleaded 'not guilty' (haha) and was assigned a public defender. His hearing was held............only to be continued AGAIN for three more months! What?! Turns out they are giving him time to get his 'disability', for which he's now filed. If he does manage to manipulate the disability system, the courts can no longer force him to seek work. He knows what he's doing. Wicked is as wicked does. He's never filed disability before now ~ can't they 'see' the writing on the wall?
I finally consulted an attorney. Guess what ~ I can have an attorney file a notice of delinquency. This will put a 6% p/mo. interest charge on his arrears owed and will increase that amount by up to 78% within a year. It's not like he'll ever pay it. If such a motion can't accomplish anything, other than a greater tab; if the County isn't responsible to do what they say they're going to do; if it's the State's responsiblity or the Fed's responsibility, we need to find out. We need to get to the bottom of this issue for children all over America.
I even emailed my Congressman and Governor, and the News. Obviously, they have far more important things to concern themselves with. I'm just ONE MOM out here in this Country, in this County. How many countess others are being "victimized" by exes and the judicial system that is supposed to be intolerant of 'silver-tongued devils'?!!!
Please leave your story ~ your comments ~ this is an attempt to get some attention to this matter via the WEB. Let's MAKE SOME NOISE, Mothers (and Fathers, too) out there!!! Our children are to be taken care of! I HAVE NO EXCUSE not to take care of her!! Why is he given an excuse(s)? He doesn't have custody of her, so I take ALL the responsibility, including every penney of the financial end, too? DO SOMETHING, GOVERNMENT; DO SOMETHING!!!
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Well, my ex is always in crisis. So was I, when I left him. I had to get a job, get an apartment, filed bankruptcy so I wasn't accountable for debt he incurred during our marriage. I had a baby. I had to pay child care, utilities, food, gas. It was sink or swim for me. I haven't failed. My child has been my motivator! I was blessed with hard work to finally buy my condo. I have done everything I could. Surely, losing a job is not within one's control, in my situation. I still have my bills and CAN barely make it, with only his $200 p/mo arrears payment ~ IF he would pay that! The point is, the Court better NOT tell him he has a "hardship" because SO DO I. Am I supposed to walk away from my house ~ here, the bankruptcy is finally off my record after 10 years of responsible payments on all my bills, with or without his support, and totally ruin my credit again, simply because he won't pay?
Explain to me how he married two foreign women since our divorce that he had to feed and support (they couldn't work, as they were not citizens). One of them did indeed obtain her green card, go to school, get a driver's license and a car? What, he didn't "help" her along financially? Come on. His current wife doesn't have a green card either.
This is just sickening. The Child Support Office is listening to the bleeding Obligor and giving him excuses? I thought this was about the children. I feed her, clothe her, pay for her medical (he never pays his half anyhow), her school pictures, gifts for her birthday and Christmas. She has no Christmas this year from Santa...of course, there's the almighty credit card. I can't stand to have to get into debt I can't pay back, just to not have to explain to her why Santa didn't come this year...NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Our economy is rough; no doubt. I could understand if his payments were $500 a month (he paid that as a car payment for years), but it's such a small amount. I'm just outraged that a court order, given to DCSS is not enforced! If I go before a judge again, and he tells DCSS to enforce it, will they? Probably NOT.
We need to get government involved. NOW.
My situation is the same. I left my sons dad about 6 years ago. He was ordered to pay 441 a month in child support. He called me one day and asked me to lower it 200 dollars so I did. (we were on speaking terms then) In August of 04 I got full custody of my kids with visitation with him for only 6 hours a week. Well needless to say he hasnt seen them for 6 years. Well to make a long story short at one point I needed government help to help me raise my kids and so i did that for about a year. In this time he had called that case worker and had the child support order lowered to 50.00 a month for 2 kids from 241 a month. Needless to say I have been going back and forth with the state case worker to up my child support to were it should be.. This has taken 2 years with nothing done..They have sent garnishment letters to his work (so this caseworker says) but the employer isnt doing it(yeah right).. but needless to say even at 50.00 a month he wont even pay that.. But like all the other moms on here have said we have to pay for EVERYTHING for our children while nothing happens to them.. Yea they threaten to take away the license bit but that is when he will pay the 50.00 so he doesnt.. I have seen many cases here where they will freeze the bank account of the person that owes child support but not in my case... he does get away without paying it.. there does need to be something done.. I am sure we all live in different states too..
It is absolutely disgusting. The only solace is knowing our children are with the parent that LOVES THEM. I trust God to provide for us, and He does. It just really annoys me (understatement) that our tax dollars are paying for child support services to simply run a tab and NOT do what they're supposed to do!!!! My heart is with you, upset mother.
I know this all too well.. Mine is in hiding (although I know where he is but can't prove it) We have been separated 8 years and he is now OVER $50,000 in arrears and no one can do anything to help..
The system is pathetic and they do NOT want to help..
Hi Mom of 5. I'm saddened and angered with you. My ex has been before a judge so many times for contempt and gotten continuances over and over again. This last one he was officially charged, araigned, assigned a public defender...the hearing was held last week and I got the Order After Hearing in the mail a couple of days ago....continued for three months. He's a master liar and keeps playing the card of alleged upcoming motions, that may or may not take place, so they just keep giving him 'time' and not taking the action they are obligated to take by law. Obligors get off the hook, whether it's the one who is to pay child support or the court system that is to enforce collections. Neither are meeting their obligations!!!
Same Situation, I am in the same boat. I believed that the court orders would be followed. I follow them. The system is not about the children at all. If the courts would act immediately on deliquent payments, the past due amounts would not be so high.
I think the should mandate weekend clean up with the other non-jail time offenders. If a non-payer of support lost their weekends, they would pay ontime and in full and the children would not suffer financially anymore. If I win the lottory I will make this legislatiion get past. Imagine if all child support was actually being paid....the benfits for the children would be amazing!
Sounds like an idea there, erbear, but parents who don't pay child support are obviously not interested in the child's well being, visitation being one of them. The only reason visitation is exercised is to prevent a greater support obligation. My child's father hasn't seen his child in over a year and hasn't paid a dime. Frankly, not having him in our lives is worth more than a dime of child support; however, he's obligated and as a parent, I have to stand up for our child's best interest.
Court orders are made, so the court system can collect their money. Court orders aren't enforced and dragged on for years with further 'contempt' hearings so the court system can collect their money. They obviously don't care about the children, either. Children are a commodity and nothing more to dead-beat parents and the court system.
I`m a father of two boys one of which isn`t biologially mine, he is my ex-wifes and someone elses. I have full custody of both of them and my ex is ordered to pay 375.00 a month, she was ordered 3.5 years ago but has never payed any thing. The cse wont`t do anything about it cause every time they locate her she moves and we have to find her again. The real bad part is that cse told me that I need to locate her for them which is their damn job. But I did 4 times and they still did nothing. Now there is no visitation ordered for her but cse and dfs told me that if I wanted them to really do something then I needed to let her have visitation. Even though the last time she had the boys she almost killed them by locking them in their room and then catching the house on fire by shooting up. And not to mention the fact that for the past 6 years she has not had a stable reidence and has ran with the carnival for the last 2 years. I`m now remarried and have 2 step children and trying to get child support from their father is almost impossible, he pays 20.00 to 50.00 every 3 months and cse says that if he makes a payment within a 3 month period they can`t do anything and that the payment don`t have to be the full payment. So we took away his visitation and then cse and dfs said that we need to let him see them or we would be in contempt of court. It looks like we are damned if we do and damned if we don`t. But I have a friend that was across seas fighting in the army for 2.5 years came home to find that his then wife had divorced him and that there was a warrant for his arrest for non payment of child support. he got a dishonorable discharge and 5 years probation for it. The shitty part of that story is that he never received any notice of anything pertaining to any of the custody or child support. Tbhe system is out for one thing......... MONEY and if it is going to cost them then they will beat around the bush about it. But if they will make money off of it they will jump on it.............
Wow. I feel your heart, and may I first say this: regarding the mother of the first children, it is comparable to my dead-beat, in that his 'religion' is domestic violence and abuse. Can we focus on this one truth ~ there is no amount of money that can compare to the safety the children have being completely away from them!!
Secondly, I heard if a person is in prison, for instance, the minimum child support that must be paid is $25 p/mo. Sounds like the second case you mentioned has to do with minimum collection. The three-month rule is an internal rule, not a law. I found this out through my child support agency. He had it figured out ~~ pay one month, skip two, pay one, skip two ~~ well, this makes it okay to pay four of twelve payments a year and be perfectly fine!! Now, he's not paid for 15 months straight, was held in contempt, only to be given enough time to get disability, so they won't have to make him seek work that can be garnished. Because he hasn't paid into disability for years (he's in his own underground cash business), he probably won't receive any disability income that could be garnished. He's evil to the core.
And lastly, child support and visitation are two totally separate court issues. Visitation must be allowed, even if child support isn't being paid. In my case, I could file for 100% custody since he hasn't seen the child since he stopped paying child support ~ but, in doing that support may need to be refigured. With his dishonesty about income, and my honesty about reporting income, I could just see him trying to gain child support from me, resuming visitation if he had to. It would be worse for our child to go back to visitation with him. She won't go and I wouldn't force her, court or not.
The comfort is in knowing that everything these irresponsible, abusive parents (non-payment of support is child abuse, if you ask me) do is recorded in the books of God. They will stand before Him when they take their final breath in this life (or Jesus returns). He is not a corrupt judge, but a righteous Judge. It may look like they're getting away with this, but in the end they are not. God will provide for us, Fire. We have His children and He will protect them.
Well, here is my story. I am 20 years old and have no children on my own. I met my soon to be husband (in july) in april of 2009! He was putting his son who was 1 yr old at the time into daycare which is where i worked. he told me his story;
he is 25 yrs old and had no children that he knew of. he was told that his sons mother was cheeting on him and he left, that was in january of 2007. that was the last he heard of her till february of 2009. which is when he was being sued in court for child support. he demanded a dna test aspa. came back that Joey was his. his first payment was in march of 2007 and was nailed with arrears because Joeys mother filed WAY BACK in november of 2008 and bucks county domestics in pennsylvania took their good ol' time. so he made his first payment of $378 (which was only half, every 2 weeks it gotten taken right from his check.) and that brought him right into april made one more payment and than he got a phone call at work and was asked what time he was going to be home and that he was getting FULL CUSTODY of his son because his sons mom was living out of her car and had no stable housing, job or food. he pancicked because he never even saw JOEY yet because the mother didnt want him too and he was wating for his case to be in front of a judge for visitation. well he had nothing, he got a crib, borrowed stuff from people, posted on craigslist, etc. well Joey started in daycare and i fell in love with him and his daddy. well in july on 2009 i moved in. i have been taking care of joey myself since than. he is not my child i love him no less than if he was my own. well today, almost 2 years later. we are still paying arrears, and its not even arrears for owed child support, it is owed arreears for Joeys mothers welfare. well we are $1,673.89 behind on arrears and they are trying to hold him in contempt and hold his 2010 income tax. does anyone ever really think about the children themselves?
well we dont qualify for food stamps, or cash assistance, or any of the above. well in august of 2010 we found out i was pregnant. we werent expecting it but we were very happy and joyful and blessed. at the end of august we found out there was no heart beat and i was going through a miscarriage. joeys mother had the audasity to call children and youth on me saying that i forcefuklly hit my stomach causing me to miscarry, sooo not true. it was a very devastating time but i held my head high for my little one. he just celebrated his 3rd birthday in october and i would never be able to live one day without him.
his mother gets visitation rights, when she shows up, and if she shows up she is late. usually 40 minutes late. she gets him every wednesday 4-6 and every other weekend. she shows when she wants and she has a fit about every fun thing we do as a family. Joey never wants to go with her and tells her he hates her alll the time and its not us talking about her, we keep that to our selves. but to this day, we are still stuck paying for a child we have custody for that we are paying for extra.
no one, espically the courts care about the childs well being, they care about getting their money and thats all. maybe one day they will relize when it happens to one of their own...
just maybe and thats all i can pray for...
but on the other hand, i am Joey's Mom, i feed him, i bathe him, i read and play and do everything a REAL mother needs to do with their child. and Joey knows this,
i love my child dearly, i put him before myself, he is my number 1 and only priority....
Wow, I'm astonished that Joey's Dad is paying for Joey's mother's welfare when Joey's not even with her? Or is he having to just get the arrears paid ASAP because she's on welfare? This is part of the law I'm not familiar with. I feel sorry for Joey's Mom, as it had to have broken her heart to not be able to care for her son, even to this day...unless this is merely a result of irresponsible actions (i.e. drugs, etc.). Nonetheless, it sounds like Joey has loving parents in you and his Dad. I truly hope his bio-mother is showing him as much love as possible, so Joey has three times the love! That's what's most important for him. It's good you don't talk negatively about his Mom, for he will love you all the more for that. I'm just so thankful Joey has a good home ~ that his Dad was willing and able to take him ~ and that he has a two-parent home. That is just so important.
I've been raising my daughter alone, but after such horrendous experiences, I am not just going to 'fill the slot' with anyone. I love her so much, and am hoping I am setting a good example of responsible love for her. I don't want her to feel she needs a man to make it in this life ~ so she will take her time to find that solid foundation needed to raise a family, should she decide to. She'll know what it's like to be from a broken home and desire not to put her own children through such a thing. My poor choices and change to responsible ones, I pray will be worth it in the long run.
Thank you for sharing Joey's story. I pray lots of love for that child and for each of you. For Joey's sake, I pray God provides all your needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus, as He does for us. God bless you!
What about all of you using child support on yourselves if you are reviving money for your child then try spending it on your child. The system is flawed for people like myself who lost there jobs due to whatever reason (8year military decided to go to collage full time) it can take up to 9 months to process a modification that's rediculus. So the state wanted it and the state gets it I can pay my child support and Childs medical insurance but come birthday Christmas and whatever els there is there will be no gifts and she lives in pensilvania I have to pay transportation both ways guess I won't see him till he's old enough to pay his own way cuz I can't afford it and I'll be so far in arrears before I get my modification assuming they grant it. Yes I did call the child support office they told me to just go with the flow and if I get behind then I get behind just pay something was there advice. I have been nothing but pro active in doing what I can to stay current but I'm slowly falling behind now so seems like it's flawed on both ends
Hi Brian, yes ~ just do what you can. I think there are those who use child support for personal gain and not for the child's needs, but that's rare. As a single Mom, I put a roof over our heads, buy food to feed her, clothes to clothe her, gas to get her where she needs to go, medical premiums and co-pays, bus fees for school, fees for art class and field trips, presents for various special occasions ~ there's just no end. If it were just me, I'd be paying for one, but I'm paying for two with no help from Dad. He's paying for two, also ~ wife number six ~ a wife with no citizenship to work. I guess sex is more important? Sorry, that was low...as you can see, I have a little disrespect for his priorities. I'm too busy working full time and caring for my daughter to 'date'. She's my top priority. When she's grown, maybe then I'll think about me.
It's sad that the same theme keeps appearing over and over. Those due the support never receive it and those paying are resentful. My ex-husband and I divorced in 06 after being together 11 years. Originally we alternated weeks as he did not want to pay child support and I felt at the time that the children needed their father more than money and hoped this would give them the opportunity to see their father after the divorce more than they had when we were married. Well,a year into it our daughter started returning with bruises from him spanking her with a belt at the age of 3 for getting out of bed. Then at 5 he had taken her out on a job site (he has his own business),where she was hit by a car because he'd not been paying attention to her. I had begged him several times not to take the children with him due to safety concerns. In October of 2008 I file to modify the custody arrangement. It wasn't even settled until July 2010. By then he had let our son smoke (at the age of 8) and both children have been allowed to try various forms of alchohol. This was not enough for full custody, but he now only sees them every other weekend and on Wednesdays..when he exercises the visitation. His taxes showed he should pay $697/mth..I agreed to only $400/mth for the first 6 months and then $500/mth after that. He's not paid one single month since ordered and is now almost 8 mths behind. Since then he has also had another accident while working where he lost all of the fingers on his right hand because he decided to try and reattach a hose while the mower blades were still running. He has filed for disability which will start in June. The children will also receive benifits and he has asked me to have those credited towards his child support which I have no problem doing except for the fact that he is not allowed to work on disability and I know he will anyway and jeapordize his receipt of these funds. His arrears, however, he would like waived. I even overheard he and his current girlfriend of 1-2 months complaining about the arrears and her advising him to have them set up into a trust for the children if he were to pay them out of a settlement due him for another accident he'd had almost 4 years ago where he fell out of a tree at work at his last job actuallly working for a company and not himself. The only thing that irritates me about this is I'm the one who has paid for the roof over their heads, their food, heat, water, entertainment, school lunches, gas to take them to and from school, school supplies and books, etc.. Basically everything that they require just to have the basic standard of living 23+ days/mth. My car is 8 years old, our rent for a 3 bedroom house is only $525/mth (I have a son 10 and daughter 7 so they require seperate rooms)and our utilities are $213/mth. We do not live fancy by any means. In fact, in July I lost my job of 5 years as a manger making $14.23/hr due to corporate downsizing and have been surviving only off of unemployment which is the equivalent of $8/hr. Our county has a 12% unemployment rate (at last check) and sadly I hear overpaid/over qualified for every interview I've had regardless of my expressed desire to have the job. I've even taken multiple tests for state positions scoring over 90% (one even a 97%) and have yet to hear anything.He affords trips to Texas,has 2 vehicles,eats out regularly at restaraunts (not just fast food chains),the children have even commented in his presence that "daddy has $1000 in his wallett," to which he agreed and this was just 2 months ago. My taxes went towards paying off a car loan just to make it through last year,he just completed his from 2008 and has yet to mail them off because he knows they are being seized for his child support arrears. I do not withhold visitation or threaten him with the lack there of. In fact, I do not speak to him about it or the children at all,however,he has had our daughter call me during his weekend and tell me how daddy can't afford child support and now they can't afford this little house they were going to get because of it and the attorney fees I caused due to the modification. It is very frustrating as the custodial parent and the courts are of no help as are none of the state funded agencies,but I knew that when multiple attempts to receive help from DFS failed prior to and during the modification. Even in July of 2010 he struck our son in the face,told him he was lucky he didn't knock the f* out of him then tried dragging the children out to his truck to leave. I had to call the cops for him to go without the kids. DFS showed up 2 days later and determined that he'd done nothing wrong because at that point our son had no physical marks on him and listed one of their father's strengths as "he cooks for the children." ARE YOU SERIOUS!? He also still has yet to go to court for his 2nd DWI he's received since our divorce which happened almost 2 years ago and while only a year into probation for his first! Needless to say I feel our courts,government,society and economy are in serious need of an overhaul!
It is despicable, isn't it? Get this! My ex just hired an attorney to request termination of his parental rights. The irony? His attorney used to be the head honcho at the Department of Child Support Services back when my case was opened! Hello?????
He states in his declaration that he willfully decided to cease support, contact and visitiation in order to claim abandonment of our child. This is ALL DUE to not wanting the child support obligation. There has never been a case that anyone knows of, where a parent asks to have their parental rights terminated, especially due to child support.
With God's leading, my attorney and I are using his own admission to actually request his rights be terminated! He is still on the hook for past-due support, but the relief of not having this loser of a person attached to our child or me is worth far more than any amount of money. I will then appoint a legal guardian, which will be my decision alone, in case anything should happen to me. I feel our child is in danger, should he ever try to force visitiation. Domestic violence was a prominent part of our marriage, and in my other hub "When Your Child Reports a Molestation" she accused him of such. While he is referring to all these 'false' reports in his motion for termination, I will use it against him. I have a document from the State that reviewed all the facts and indeed put CPS in their place, stating our child had a preponderance of evidence she had been the victim of such a crime. This is an opportunity, as I see it, to be set free. These evil parents will do whatever they can to keep their money and give all the responsibility to the other parent. They have a higher Judge in their life ~ and with all the accidents your ex is having, I think it's only the tip of the iceberg.
Press on in doing what's right and know that God is the Husband to the widow and the Father to the fatherless. Your children don't have a 'father', they have a sperm-doner. After what my ex has just admitted, I am ashamed to call him my daughter's father. Makes me sick.
Will let you know how it all turns out in June. I am requesting attorneys fees up front, for he's getting out of six years of child support and I'm not getting taken for another $3 grand on top of it. You're not alone!
Sorry to hear your troubles. It seems that unless a mother is willing to "sell her soul" to the devil- oops I mean the District Attorney DCSS office they won't do anything to help her collect. Its because they can tax the father a crap load more if she is on welfare than if she isn't.
I have been dealing with DCSS in San Diego for 8 years due to my husbands ex. She is a low life welfare mother who refuses to get a job. She lives in mexico and uses her parents address to collect. Not only does the Child Support office know she is committing fraud, they refuse to do anything about it because out of the money they take from my husband they get their cut. Its like the Mafia, for reals. So anyways- we went to court last year when his oldest son turned 18 and they were still collecting. Despite the fact we showed proof that he wasn't going to graduate they kept charging us 6 months more and when they did shut it off they didn't refund us back for the 6 months. Not only that but they raised the bill from $400 for two kids, to $1000 a month for one 17 yr old boy. They refused to give him a hardship deductions despite the fact my two sons I have with him were born before ANY of the child support orders were adjudicated which is illegal. They have to by law deduct for him being legally obligated to support other kids. My children have had to suffer for the last 8 years because of his lame ex who doesn't even try to support her kids. All the while she gets her big check every month and my kids aren't being even counted in the equation of how much money my husband makes and how he needs to support our family too. My husbands 17 yr old lives with her parents and she doesn't even help him with the money she is getting for "child support". Its a joke how badly she and the Child Support screwed us over. His younger son will be 18 next Summer of 2012 and when he does I will finally be free from this monstrosity known as DCSS. Best wishes for you.
WOW ~ can SOMEBODY tell me what's WRONG with integrity and justice? Is there RIGHT AND WRONG anymore? I found out TODAY that not only is the previous DCSS Director, now an attorney, representing my dead-beat ex to terminate his parental rights, BUT when I agreed to support terminating his rights, but insisted he pay MY attorneys fees to do it (getting him out of six more years of support obligations) he's claiming he's "financially destitute" and SHE IS REPRESENTING HIM PRO BONO!! Get THAT?!! He's over $18K in arrears, and has cost all parties involved over $10K in legal fees thus far and now I have to pay $1,500 (my attorney reduced his cost ~ I'm thankful) to give him what he wants? Now, I wonder HOW in the world he's paying his way through life NOT being on AID and supporting his 20-some-year-old traffic bride from the Philippines who can't work? GET REAL!!!
My Daughter is a victim if domestic violence, As of May 2010 was the final draw. Her boyfriend who lived with HER in a home that WE own, and We paid ALL the bills, Had beat her up, tore up the home, slapped thier now 2 year old son, then forcibly took him from her, got in the car and left. she took off after him, she called me and her father, we took off and found them at his mothers house where there were 5 people surrounding my daughter after the mother had pulled her by the hair. the boyfriend took off with the baby again and we all followed, meanwhile calling 911 telling them about the assault and kidnapping. the ste. gen. cops finally came about a mile from their house down the road. the cops jump out and tells ME to get out of the car and handcuffed ME. telling me and my Daughter to shut the fxxx up. they said they were informed that the boyfriends mother was a correctional officer here in saint francios county, missouri. they let the boyfriend leave with the baby and made us stay there. for about 15 minuets until he could get to park hills mo to the police. We took off to go to the home where my daughter lived, and the boyfriend,his aunt and the police came, the cop told me that I wasn't going to dictate was goes on there.they came in the house and the boyfriend took his stuff which wasn't much just his clothes, because everything belonged to us. the cops said the boyfriend did not have to leave, and that if they got another call from there that they didn't care who it was that everyone was going to jail. the cops left, leaving the boyfriend there. so we all left with the baby. the boyfriend in turn stold our riding lawnmower. me and my daughter went the next day to get an ex-parte order, we got it. but when we went to court in Farmington mo. judge Kelly, did not grant it, saying there was not enough evidence. my daughter was sitting up there on the stand with bruises all over her. But he granted ex-partes on my daughter and husband from his mother and step father on hearsay. Since then the boyfriend has called her names and saying he was going to kill her, stalking her and the cops say they can't do anything because it is child custody???? We have all his medical records where it shows the boyfriend AND both sides of his family are bi-polar, they have mental illness, scitzophrenic, and mrsa, which my grandson had to be cut on at 10 months and 20 months old. Now on April 17th. 2011 the baby was bitten by their dog and the boyfriend said he fell. The Lawyers are doing nothing, DFS are doing nothing, they said if the boyfriend said it was an accident then thats that? But DFS said if it was something about fraud then they would do something! please someone help us.
Hi Charlene, Wow. I think there's an unwritten 'law' of Satan that governs this wicked world ~ it is the opposite of sanity, the opposite of right; the bad guy is the good guy and the good guy is the bad guy. Children are not to be protected, 'good-ol-boys' get away with corruption; have a 'badge' or 'medal' and get their way, no matter how wicked it is. What power! AND...look at our current government regime! Gas is up nearly 50% from just weeks ago! I could fill up for $35.00 and just spent over $50!
Your testimony is horrible, yet I too have been a victim of domestic violence with this child, so you are preaching to the choir, sister! I have a hub called "When Your Child Reports A Molestation", too! Even with a preponderance of evidence, his visitation was INCREASED! Can we just throw up now? 10 years later, he elected to leave our lives, and no amount of child support can equal that kind of relief! Nor, will it excuse him! Abusers/Bullies think they can wear us down to just 'give in' and 'give them their way', but NO. This latest thing we'll be going through will release him from our lives (safety), yet hold him accountable for his arrears (accountability). It's win-win. If the judge doesn't grant the termination, I am ready to fight for 100% legal and physical custody ~ he's admitted to abandoning her and not supporting her. She's too old to 'force' her to go anymore, and I'm thankful I don't have to.
I just want the horrible past behind me and I am dead-set on never repeating it! I surely hope, for your grandson's sake, Dad will grow up and be responsible and loving, peaceful with Mom, so that child can know the love of both parents. Only God can heal this situation. My heart is with you ~ believe me. I so feel for you, your daughter and your grandson.
My story is very similiar to the other custodial parents in California. The system has failed my child miserably. My ex husband, DEAD BEAT DAD, works under the table cutting hair in Southern California. He is so pathetic that he recieves cash aid and food stamps in addition to his cash wages. He has done his research and submitted disability paper work from a doctor indicating that he is unable to work for three months. The San Diego County Child Support Services Judge lowered his payment from $600 to $0 a month! He had previously been in arrears and owed $4500 and the judge back dated the $0 payment for 4 months, so he now only owes $2100! My only source of income is unemployment insurance, but GOD is good all the time and I have managed to maintain my lifestyle :)There are many stand up fathers in the nation, like my sons dad. Never had to have his wages garnished and we enjoy 50/50 custody :) The bible says a man that does not work shall not eat! I pity these low lifes that financially abandon their own children. It is a sign of self hate. I praise the LORD that this poor excuse for a man is no longer a part of our lives. There are no victories when a childs welfare is forsaken. Wake up California Judges!
Jesus LOVES the little children and ALL of these corrupt deadbeat parents and judges who support them will have their DAY in COURT and it's not going to be a pretty sight. Your heart is lifted up in the LORD, as mine. He is faithful and we depend on Him. Be encouraged, though, that God does not turn a blind eye. Woe to them, Anastasia!!
Here’s my story.
My son’s “father” is on state disability (SSI) for being “deaf” in one ear. He is 24. Otherwise, healthy. He is not deaf. He is lazy. This much he has admitted. We went to court for child support and custody. I won full legal and physical custody. He was given supervised visitation. Mind you, he never asked for hearing accommodations. He came to court with a cane! He is 24 and there is no reason he would need a cane other than he is trying so hard to make it appear as though he is this poor, fragile, little man. The court ordered child support and ordered him to get a job. I opened my case with DCSS. Soon enough they sent me a letter stating that they cannot garnish SSI wages and are changing his order to $0.00!!! and closing the case. I went back to court. The judge RAISED the child support order. I told the judge SSI doesn’t mean he can’t get a job. SSI is SUPPLEMENTAL income…he can have a job AND get SSI but the SSI amount will change depending on how much he makes from his job. My sons “father” said “If I get a job, they will lower my SSI.” The judge said “So your not getting a job because they will lower the amount they give you?” He said yes. Obviously getting a job means he has to work. And thus would have to pay child support. And thus get a little less help from the government. So the judge ordered him to get a job AGAIN and to pay MORE in child support. DCSS was at the hearing! They sent me another letter. Same as before. “We cannot garnish SSI wages and are closing the case. I asked them to keep it open which somehow they did.
It has now been a year. My sons “father” has not paid child support or seen my son..in a year! Again, I am getting a letter from DCSS. “We cant garnish SSI wages. Closing the case. $0.00”
They told me that when my son’s “father” gets a job I can reopen the case. How the hell am I supposed to know when that happens? I don’t even know where he is!
Isn’t I their job to ensure that his debts appear in his credit history? How, if they close the case, will anyone know what he owes me and for how long? I cannot spend every ounce of energy I have tracking him down…I HAVE A CHILD TO RAISE!
What is DCSS’s function?!
I understand completely that SSI wages cannot be garnished…but where is this ENFORCEMENT that they talk about? He was ordered to get a job!! I called social security and they said they “can’t get involved”
I work two jobs and my sons REAL FATHER (The man who has now been helping me raise my son, this REAL MAN) works three jobs so that we can support this child and give him a good life. I cant get government assistance. And I pay taxes to pay this lazy ass to be lazy and not pay me child support!
I am so annoyed with this system.
Yes its sad that many parents are going through this and that the government is allowing fathers and some mothers to get away with this. I am going through the same thing. My sons father pays some months and then skips a few I am so sick of it! He's getting off easily and leaving me to care for my son by myself. I'm ready to just release him from his duties hes already attemted to terminate hid rights but I denied it so he has nuthn to do with my son but still has to pay child support. I wish there was something more I could do
AnnoyedMother, WOW. What a nightmare! I would THINK that you could take DCSS before a judge, as you HAVE a seek-work order that no one is enforcing! In the meantime, it's a good thing there's a real 'DAD' out there who's willing to step up for you and your child. I feel every bit of disgust at this situation as you do. I pray you have wisdom in how you proceed. Your child is the priority and I'm so glad he's with YOU and not his dead-beat, cane-bearing, half-deaf 24-yr-old sperm donor.
Dallasmom30, see, there are so many of us out here in this corrupt situation!!! Understand that termination of parental rights erases all future support from the time of the order, but does not erase arrears. Usually, judges will award termination of parental rights if there is another 'father' figure to step into the role of supporting the child (paternally/financially). An exception would be if the child is proven to be in danger while in his care. Either way, lack of visitation with the child (a year or more), no child support paid for the same amount of time and, if the child is old enough (12 or so), the child's desire to have the father's rights terminated, are all qualifying factors. Just think of your child and let your heart guide you. LOVE wins.
18 years after my youngest brother-in-law turned 18 my father-in-law was served with papers for not paying child support. This random out of the blue. It's the system that's screwed. Dad had a good outcome because he had all the receipts and paperwork. Now, we are thinking all the times mom didn't get child support the court didn't give it to her. It wasn't that dad didn't pay it. He kept all the check stubs.
Hi tirelesstraveler! Thank you for reading and commenting on THREE of my hubs! Wow ~ what a friend! So, are you saying 'Mom' said she hadn't received ANY child support, or was she seeking payments she never received? Dad was wise to keep those receipts! Corruption in the DCSS - no surprise!
AND ~ guess what? Latest news...After yawning myself to death over Order After Hearings stating 'continuance for three more months' over and over and over....again...I FINALLY got an OAH that charged Dad with contempt on five (of I lost count) counts, sentencing him to...gee 600 hours in jail ~ of course, it was SUSPENDED for one year ~ as LONG as he pays LESS than the court-ordered monthly amount on his arrears, but he MUST pay monthly ~ AND he has to report his income/expense to DCSS every month.
IF he doesn't show up for court in four more months, they will issue a bench warrant. In the meantime, I got a call from DCSS to contact the Social Security Office. I guess (I'll find out in a couple of weeks) there must be some money coming direct deposit into my account. They couldn't tell me this was a 'garnishment', or whether he died (shouldn't be this, for his rights were already terminated), but DCSS needs to know whatever the amount is (if any) that we'll receive so they can adjust their collections accordingly.
I'll keep ya posted, readers! Good to hear from you tirelesstraveler!! :-)
I am a man who was sexually assaulted years ago by a person I barely knew, a couple of years went by and I called police to file a case, they told me there was nothing they can do. It is possible a baby was born as a result of the non-consenual sex. I then called DCSS an explained this and asked if I could open a case to determine if a case has been open against me. I gave the name of the female who assaulted me, then my information which they already from my first wife. I never heard back from them. I am hoping that a child was NOT born as a result of this. For the last several years I have suffered from severe clinical depression, many times I have wanted to end my life as a result of someone taking advantage of me.
Hi Mark, I must first say I appreciate your openness about what happened to you, and I stand by you in the repercussions of such trauma.
First of all, DON'T BLAME YOURSELF and DON'T let the lack of JUSTICE cause you to stagnate in your healing process. God is JUSTICE and His Justice will be served, court or no court here on earth.
Were you a minor when this assault happened? If so, they should not have told you there's nothing they could do. Typically, it's best that victims come forward right away when an assault has occurred because there might be some evidence or witnesses to establish a case.
If you KNOW the person who did this, and you want to know if a baby was born out of this assault, find the person - hire an investigator to find her and check to see if she has a child. If she does, then consult an attorney and let him/her take the next steps.
If all this is not possible for lack of funding, KNOW that you have the choice to move on with YOUR life. There are far more GOOD things that have happened to you than this one instrusive and violating incident. Don't give Satan the JOY of destroying YOU and YOUR precious LIFE that God gave you. It was Satan who was after you and wants to destroy you, not God. God WILL give you the POWER to OVERCOME and LIVE, in spite of this. HE LOVES YOU.
Look at how many children died in the Bible because of evil Harod who wanted no threat of another 'king' to take his place?! Satan didn't want JESUS BORN and THEN ended up KILLING Him anyhow ~ but, did that stop GOD? NO. The GRAVE couldn't HOLD Him! He's yet alive and doing greater things through all of us who believe. He overcame and we do, too!! You are not alone in your abuse and suffering ~ soooo many of us have suffered at the hands of sexual predators and other vicious predators.
I'm an over-comer and I want to encourage you!!! GOD LOVES YOU. If He didn't love you so much, Satan would not have tried to destroy you and so far, Satan's FAILED. GOD's LOVE NEVER FAILS.
I don't think that this box is big enough for me to tell my story. Basically, been divorced for 12 years, California DCSS is worthless, ex husband works on the books for $11.11 per hour(sure as a superintendent managing the ENTIRE Northern California Division of a Company) he gets paid the balance in cash as well as kick backs and reimbursements on his checks which is reported as untaxable income. Has a brand new car with a car payment of $500.00 per month(he stated that one his income and expende form) No one EVER questions him, I have provided DCSS with documented proof, license plate #s, his contractors license with the state of California. I have no faith in the system. he has never provided any type of child care, health insurance, and now I have filed a motion with the court, for modification,a nd for reimbursement of my sons braces expenses. I have no doubt, it will not turn out well. I know why people hate the system. I understand that their are sooo many cases and they cant micromanage us all, but they also need to remember that not all cases are cut and dry. Ones like mine are crazy and need a lot investigation. I have also hired a company($125.00 per subpoena) to subpoena all of his employment records, ALL including paystubs, time cards, insurance info, truck use, cell phone use, and to subpoena his auto loan application with all supporting documents. He is $44,000 in arrears, does not supply medical coverage as court ordered, does not pay for half of any sport fees, etc. I am bitter yes, I support my children in every way, they are my children, he is equally responsible. But yet, he gets them on his weekends and in half of the Summer. All along pretending he pays his support, I am lying,,,yada yada yada. Im tired of it. And I dont talk to my kids about it which stresses me even more becasue I can't say " oh your dad is a deadbeat loser". Good thing I have a decent paying job with benefits and everything revolves around my kids, I would do anything for them.
One more thing.... 4 years ago I found out he was in a car acident and was suing the person. So I searched county records for the case #, called DCSS and gave them the info, they became a party to the case and as soon as it was settled, I received a check for $6,000.
My point??? DCSS are worthless. They provided 5 different answers for the same question, depending on who you speak with. A lot of their employees have no clue about anything. I have spoken to a few there that have been there for quite a while and they are very helpful. But when it comes down to it. they suck.
I hear you, California DCSS is terrible!!
I have some NEWS...my ex tried every which way to get out of paying child support and his last move was to terminate his own parental rights -
Let me back up a bit...when the courts were going to issue a 'seek work' order, he filed for social security/disability, which was denied. The child support order to seek work was delayed - continued, continued, continued....
Well, I finally received an Order After Hearing regarding his contempt charges (five of how many counts?), which included an order to pay $140 p/mo (the OAH on arrears had been $200 p/mo), and for him to report his income/expense to DCSS monthly. If he broke this 'probation', he would spend time in jail (600 hours).
THEN, I guess his social security/disability got approved...retroactive to June 2010 when he applied...though he had listed our daughter on the application, he purposefully did not provide our contact information.
Now, up to the termination of parental rights...I decided to go with it ~ to file my own motion using his petition as his admission to the criteria. Three attorneys, an investigator and the judge agreed to terminate his rights, which meant he was still on the books for arrears, but not for future support.
After all was said and done in Aug of 2011, we suddenly received a check for $6,901.00 on Valentines' Day 2012 and the next day, when I met with the Social Security office (as requested by DCSS), I found out we had another $7,126.00 coming (retroactive to June 2010) and that our daughter would receive $368 p/mo until she's 18 (or 19, if still in high school). Even after his arrears are paid, she will still receive this money.
I don't know how or why, but restitution was finally made. I would say to every custodial parent, keep the child support case OPEN and some day, when social security benefits kick in for the dead-beat parent, restitution will come. My ex is now a 'stranger' to us, no rights, and we are receiving the money so desperately needed after all these years.
Let's just hope Social Security doesn't go broke...then, we'll have a dead-beat nation.
Keep on pressing on in proving your ex's lies and deception. My ex was found out and the hammer fell. God's eyes do not turn from this, and rest assured, He is working this out behind the scenes...one way or another. Don't lose hope.
Wow! This has not been my case at all. I can not even move city's without CS knowing where I am. In the 11 years of being divorced I have paid out thousands and thousands in CS. Which I should support my child. Although let me say I do have my children 50% of the time but because their father collects SSI and I having an education I have been reamed!! I get phone calls from CS should I fall just a few hundred dollars behind. I have had my nursing license suspended until my arrears where caught up. I've had CS place a levy on my back account costing me hundreds of dollars in bounced checks. Not only do I pay my support but I have to buy my children's clothes pay for sports etc bc their father DOES NOT use the child support money on the children!! I've been to court over 12 times in 11 years of course because he always wants more child support and what does CS do gives it to him!!! As if paying $1200 dollars isn't enough on top of all the other stuff I do they continue to raise my support any chance they get. I'm all for supporting children I just do not agree with support going to a parent who does not spend it on the child!
So, Brenda, some states/Counties are the over-kill collectors and others are dead-beat? DUMB. Or, is it a sexist thing? Go after the women, but let the men go? What IS the deal?
Shepard,
That's a very good question bc I do know men who have 70 thousand dollars in arrears! Yet they've never been harassed by CS ever like I have. I will in 1 month receive 2 notices and several calls should I get behind. Here is the funny thing though. CS garnishes it straight from my check so should it be late it's bc they are behind processing not because I have failed to pay! Yet the have the time to call me and send notices several times a month???
I cant say that im in your position,but yes there things that need to be addressed for these NCP that dont follow court order,hide income.Also the policy and procedues with DCSS.I have had my case since 03/10.My sons father lives in a wealthy area,has a great job.He abdoned us cause he didnt want kids(and had a gf).I got the advise of my family to file paper for sole and physical custody.Once the NCP started getting sumons for this he started to be all nice and sweet.And I fell for it.I was unfortunitly at the time only making 12 an hour so I was needing his help.He gave me what he said he could give(200-300).I was fine with that, until I saw him eating at expensive sushi restaurants,buying his gf a $600 i phoneand taking his gf to France on vacation(thank you Facebook).I was living in a really bad neighborhood,doing what I could to pay daycare and diapers.SO I started a case w/DCSS. When I did that I saw what kind of person he really was.He got an attorney and filed an OSC to take our son.His son that he has never held,called to or even asked about.I did things at first by myself,but his attorney was a snake and draggd me through mud. Then i happen to notice the NCP was not claiming his buisness and other wage earning income,not claiming bonuses ,commissions and royalties.I lost my job ause of all the time I had to miss cause of court and mediations.But then I finally found an attorney that took me in on a pro bono. He saved mine and my sons life.He got me temporary orders for c/s.NCP attorney stated they had ins cards for child.LIE!!!Then next court date,we did a disso master from his I/E dec and mine.He stated he saw his son 2 % of the time.I was then awarded 50% of daycare.I provide him proof and I get nothing. I then found out he was going to China for 9 days.I was on the phone like hotcakes to DCSS making sure he was on the HHS list for denial of passport.I find out he not only got a new passport but VISAS ALSO!!!I called Border Patrol, The HHS department, and Passport department in DC. I wrote a letter to DC and asked for an investigation on how he got this passport.DCSS is having him wage garnished.He hasnt still provided ins for my son like court ordered and Im on the phone w/dcss 3 TIMES A WEEK.asking bout my case.I think Im where im at is cause I got a good attorney, did alot of research on NCP, went over his filed documents with a fine tooth comb for discrepencies,read over and over the child support laws and have been able to produce my evidence instead of it being hearsay. If I were you, I would call,email,fax your case worker with DCSS.If they dont respond, go down to your local office and request to speak w/a supervisor.I understand your NCP doesnt claim income, but if there was anything I could do to make sure hes repremanded, Id do it.Karma will get him and when it does hes gonna find himself sittin in to po po with some guys that dont like deadbeat dads. Keep your head up and and least after everything said and done, you say I tried my best.
I too like everyone else has "baby daddy/momma drama". It's really annoying. What I want to know is why do I, myself have to hassel them, dcse, to get anything done?! I'm scared to take him to court because every time we go he takes me to court to see our daughter. He is bi-polar and dangerous. My husband wants to adopt my daughter and let that loser keep his dag gone money he won't pay. But I feel like he's getting off scott free and that's not fair. I've had to file bankruptcy and everything. I work for the government and my pay has been frozen for the last two almost three years, it's going to stay frozen for another 2 or 3 years at that. Her biological told me at one point, before I got married, well if your working two jobs then why am I paying child support? I said when have you actually paid????? He'll make a payment the day before court then they let him go on his merry way! Why doesn't the government pay my support and go after him for the repayment!!!! The loser even got himself in major trouble for domestic violence one of them a felony charge for abduction...they put him on probation he lasted almost four months on it then they picked him up again for probation violation, he went to jail from oct 2011 to march 2012 now they revoked his probation but yet he's not in jail or paying support!!! Virginia is so screwed up!
Buglover 67, YOU GO GIRL!!!! What a FIGHTER!!!! I have FAITH in God's Word found in Galatians 6:9 "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." PRESS ON!!!!
Brenda, I AGREE!!!!!
Faith, since your husband wants to adopt your child, I would recommend filing for termination of parental rights. There are conditions it appears your ex has met: no communication or visitation with the child for a year, lack of child support payments. This may be attractive to your ex because he gets out of future child support payments, but...he will not be off the hook for arrears WITH interest. PEACE is what you need. PEACE is what your child needs.
Look at my comment from a couple of weeks ago...when I LET GO and did the TERMINATION, GOD blessed us with not only the arrears, but support for the rest of her teen-age years!!!
I'm worried he'll fight us if we try to do that. Once he finds out he will still owe the back suppport he'll go off. I've had multiple protective orders. It just makes me nervous. My husband and I are expecting a baby boy (Zebediah) in June and we just don't have the money for legal fees. It really sucks because Fiona said when we got married why didn't my name change? It breaks my heart! I guess we'll have to save money. It'll be a while since the support isn't coming in....
It's worth getting an attorney for this very important petition, Faith. If your ex meets the criteria and your husband wants to adopt your child, you have a very strong case. One of the strongest points of my case was that he kept causing me to incur attorneys fees by dragging me into court, attempting to get out of child support, while he wan't paying child support, thus making it more difficult to support my child. Your ex owes arrears either way, so for him to consider he won't owe future support, you might be surprised. Let your attorney handle the communication. Frankly, if your ex reacts in a very hostile way, your case is only strengthened. Be encouraged, and congratulations on Zebediah!!!
I am dealing with this! My P.O.S ex only has to pay 218 a month but is 9000 behind he has learned if you pay 100 per month that csea will not enforce more pay! We were in and out of court for 3 years and continuation after continuation was issued! Then they dismissed the case in the event he made full payments! Csea is a JOKE
Yes - we have to HOPE that SOMEONE with POWER will find this hub and all of our testimonies here and DO something about this BROKEN SYSTEM, holly. Whatever you do, don't give up HOPE and HANG IN THERE.
I am in the same boat. My ex works the system and has figured out that he will not get into any trouble for non payment. He has made 2 partial payments in a year and a month. So I called up the support enforcement agency. She told me they would put out something about contempt of court. That is a laugh. Now I see that they took his taxes, but applied all 1661.00 of it towards arrears! I got not one penny! Plus he still owes 200.00 in arrears. So, I will not be seeing any money go to my kids and their expences for what looks to be another year, or ten! I am so annoyed at the fact that I go to school full time (to better myself and my kids' futuure), I work close to full time, and I take care of my house and my kids, and he has nothing to take responsibility for. He refuses to see the kids, talk to them, and refuses to keep a job and pay his support. The system is so flawed it is not funny, but hey, the government and its employees are getting their money out of it!
Severely Annoyed, did you not receive the $1661. in arrears? Or are you in a state that pays his support and then they garnish him to pay them back? I've not heard of that. I would say also, that if he refuses to see the kids and talk to them, and he doesn't pay support, go for a termination of parental rights...or, get 100% custody and let his support be increased (if the courts will even DO that...that's a laugh) and arrears pile up. Some day, he'll get social security and you'll get your back-owed support, all in a lump sum. Don't give up!!
I get no child support from my daughter dad. Hes only ordered to pay $269 /month. over the years its been upped to $420 to cover arrears but I never see anything.
I forgave the first $12,000 he owed with courts. but he is still currently $15,000 behind and she is not quite 13 yet.
They have prosecuted him 3 times and basically a slap on the wrist is all he gets. They just violated his probation again for it but he got 2 other charges so he will go to jail for them and the child support will run concurrent with them. Once again a slap on the wrist.
He has his wife file injured spouse since he mainly works for cash so I never see any taxes from him.
Just so tired of it all. I don't make a lot of money myself, but too much to get any help from the state.
They need to do something. The state can pay me and then they would be more willing to go after him.
I am so disgusted with CSE. My ex and I divorced almost 3 years ago, I was given sole legal and physical custody of our 3 children (all under the age of 9), and he was given visitation every other weekend, from Saturday morning at 9am til Sunday evening at 5pm. Out of 28 visits he saw them 12 times, and then just stopped seeing them. He hasn't seen them or spoken to them in 14 months, he hasn't paid his court ordered child support in 13 months and is $12,847.00 in the arrears. I contact CSE at least every two weeks to find out what is going on with my case, and I keep being told "We could do this, we could do that", but as far as I can see NOTHING has been done! He moved from the state where he was living to Florida, and I discovered his address and called CSE to give it to them, and they listed that as MY address! I can not talk to a supervisor or anything! I am a substitute teacher, my van is on it's last legs and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know who to contact and just want something to be done. It seems that deadbeat parents get so many chances, and the custodial parents are just expected to smile and take it. When will a contempt charge be issued, when will something happen to the deadbeat dad??
no body Level 5 Commenter 2 years ago
My story was just the opposite of yours. It still shows that the system is broken. I separated from my kids mom in '92, I was making $600 every 2 weeks. I started out giving $300 in child support for my 2 children every two weeks. It was hard but it was happening. My ex went to court and my support went from $300 to $450 every two weeks. Plus childcare which was the finest facility that could be found in the area. I paid my rent of $300 mo. I had no money to eat and for insurance or gas. I lost my car because I couldn't get it fixed. I worked at a facility where I was able to raid the food left over or the food that was within 1 or 2 days before expiration date. I ate that food and served it to the kids when they came to visit. I appealed to the child support survices and they said that it indeed was an excessive case but the only thing that they could offer in the way of advice was to tell me to quit my job. Then I could go on welfare with a hardship case and not have to pay any. I rejected that and struggled with making it any way I could. When I took her to court for divorce she wanted to up the money further for support and the judge told her no. She wanted supervised visits because I may say something to them about God. The judge said no. He said I "had been overpaying for all these years and she wasn't going to get any extras." She had a master's degree and a good salary. Do you see my problem? I tell the CSS that I have zero money after cs and they tell me to quit my job and go on welfare. How many others are told that and skip out on their kids in responsibity? It ended up that the court lowered my child support to 300 mo and I at last had some money. I had lost my appartment and was living with a couple at the church by then and I found an apartment for $400 mo everything inc. Anyway, loved the hub and love you, sis.