Incivility in the Workplace

Why, why, WHY does ANYONE HAVE to be put in a position of uncivil treatment in the workplace? Should I even HAVE to be writing about this? Should I HAVE to tolerate it? Should I HAVE to NOT want to make it an issue and cause ‘waves’ putting MY JOB at risk? It’s NOT MY FAULT that I am being treated this way, for I certainly have not treated others this way. In fact, I’m getting really sick and tired of being NICE to those who are purposefully being MEAN. Where’s MY boundaries? Where’s MY self-respect?

When you send a photo of your brand new grandchild to your team and not a one says, “Congratulations”; when the supervisor notifies the Department of another employee’s birthday, but forgets yours; when it appears you are not included in discussions, not ‘heard’, let alone listened to, or better yet, talked over as though you had said nothing? When your trainer puts on earphones and expects you to ‘knock’ to get his attention and appears irritated that he’s been interrupted from his latest rock tune; when you email a suggestion to the team and catch them mocking you behind your back, or your supervisor doesn’t respond to your emails ~ ever…You bring in goodies for the team and no one eats; your teammates make what you’re doing their business ~ “Are you doing this? Are you doing that?” What IS this all about? Why am I even there? Why haven’t I been reprimanded, if I’m doing something wrong? Talked TO instead of ABOUT? Makes me just want to throw up my hands and QUIT, while the good ol’ boyz snicker all the way.

When did the attitudes all change? I can tell you when. I was working as a direct-temp in my position and enthusiasm was great. My teammates were helpful, encouraging; I took notes and felt motivated to learn all I could to be a great asset to the team. When the contract term was ending, it got back to me that the supervisor had told the rest of the team (when I wasn’t there) that one of the reasons they were ending the position was that I was being PAID MORE than they. Now THAT’s the WAY to build team spirit! I had no idea this was the case, either. I would never know what my teammates’ salaries were. I’d already taken a $7K p/yr pay cut from my previous contract position at that Company to work in the current Department (no benefits). So, I got offered the position with yet another $5K pay cut (of course, this was AFTER my team was told I was making MORE money than they). Who’s going to tell them I took yet another pay cut to permanently join the team?

So, when I make statements like, “I can’t wait to have as much experience as you do; I’m only a year old…” (they are 8, 9 and 10 years ‘old’), they immediately respond with “You’re not ‘new’ anymore”. It’s easy to ‘forget’ what it’s like learning a new job and having to work harder to get up to speed, especially when the job requires a vast amount of skills that are only learned and mastered over time. It’s not like the ‘normal’ job, where you learn A-Z in six months and then you just repeatedly do the same tasks. This one has complexities that come up that even my teammates don’t know about after all their years of ‘experience’. It’s challenging enough to be far less experienced, yet have your numbers compared to theirs, with your supervisor telling you your numbers are lower and you take “an average of 3 minutes longer on customer calls than they”…So, I mention the fact that customers tell me they're thankful for my help because they often feel 'rushed' off the phone by my coworkers. Customer calls are about solving problems. That’s what we DO. Besides, if I’ve never had the problem to solve before and have to determine the solution WITHOUT asking my teammates, who are ‘oh so eager to help’, what does my supervisor expect?

It’s really hard to continue to be ‘nice’ or not ‘snap back’ when rude comments are made or you catch your coworkers mocking you behind your back; when you are purposefully ignored, etc. I don’t behave as they do. So, I start out with my first question: WHY do I even have to be going through this? Incivility simply should NOT be tolerated. If I’m not doing my job at a level consistent with Company expectations (not comparison to others with 10 times the experience), they should simply TELL me and then let me go! If I were to be uncivil in return, what good does that do for the morale and ‘team spirit’? Would I be writing about this topic, if I were partaking of the same? NO. Sure; let’s all just ignore each other; say “I can’t stand you” without saying anything. That attitude only multiplies the problem. Someone has to STOP the cycle.

One of my ex-supervisors used to supervise the department I'm in now. There happens to be an open position in her department, for which I interviewed. After a discussion about the dynamics in my current department, I was told NOT to change who I am, for the feedback she was receiving from clients and other departments was very positive. She said the teammates I work with have reputations for being short and rude on both sides. I was encouraged and have made up my mind NOT to become so focused on 'numbers' that I also become short and rude to accomplish them. Greater efficiency will come over time, but keeping the clients happy and the business growing is the greater goal.