Comfort for Victims of Abuse

Though it's been ten years since escaping a violent environment for me, a pastor encouraged me to write about my experience for ministry to others. I pray you will be strengthened and have HOPE by the time you are finished reading this hub!

2 Corinthians 4:8 "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body."

"Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28 While the first part of this verse deals with the victim, the second part of this verse deals with the abuser.

I know this sounds nearly impossible, not to fear those who kill the body. I am a previous victim speaking to victims out there. I can tell you that innocence + lack of knowledge = victimization.

"He is still a Father, who loves His little girl; and He will never hurt you or destroy your world! In His eyes you sparkle like a priceless, shining pearl; yes, He is still a Father who loves His little girl." 

If any of you have read the Chapters of my Childhood series, you will see the story of abuse I suffered as an innocent child who was born into a dysfunctional family and thrown to the wolves in the foster care system. When I was 16 years old, I went to live with one of my biological sisters and her husband. They were renting a house from Mick (fictitious name), who had molested me as a child. I couldn’t believe it, and wondered what I would feel or what I would do if and when I ever laid eyes on this man.

The day came when he walked through the front door. Having a faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, His Word rung loudly in my heart and in my mind with what I saw before me. I couldn’t have done worse to him! He was blind, groping for direction. He was obese and wearing pants covered with his own urine. He stunk of urine, alcohol and filth. The Word says in Mark 9:42 “And whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy millstone hung around his neck, he had been cast into the sea.” 

After my divorce from my husband of over twelve years, the father of our three beautiful children, my life as a stay-at-home wife and mother came to what seemed like an abrupt halt. In my confusion, fear, depression, alarm, sadness, grief….yes, the enemy came to visit with soothing words, strong leadership; "love" to the rescue! I was lost in my walk with the Lord as I couldn’t forgive what happened in my marriage. Because I was weak and naïve, having been sheltered for so many years, I became the victim of domestic violence with my “rescuer”. In no way was I in a position to provide for myself, nor did I know how to go about so many things, especially now that my self-esteem was at its lowest. My abuser made sure to keep my self-esteem as low as possible, and my head seemed to be in a constant fog.

The Lord was faithful to ME, however. When I was in the midst of a violent attack by my abuser, the Lord showed me that while he could harm my body, he could NOT harm my soul! Through daily prayer before the Lord, my cries were heard to be delivered from this fog! God, as He did with Pharaoh, started pouring out plagues upon my abuser. My abuser told me that whenever he let me go, his business would prosper, but when he tried to keep me, his business would shut off like a light switch! Indeed, believe our God is able to deliver us from captivity!

With daily prayer for God to lead my path, He opened my eyes to take one step at a time, while still living with my abuser, in order to prepare a solid foundation for me not to fall victim to anyone again. You know, as well as I do, that almost no one will be there to help you through this situation. It’s far too dangerous for them to even try. Praise God, He is not a God of fear, nor has He given us a spirit of fear; but of love, and of power and of a sound mind! (2 Timothy 1:7) No FOG! He set me free! "He whom the Son has set free is free indeed!" (John 8:36)  

God’s Word says in Matthew 18:18 “Truly I say to you, whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” Believe me; it’s important to forgive others for our own sakes so we do not give place to the devil to keep us in emotional bondage (Ephesians 4:27). Yet, to forgive is not to loose the crimes committed against you. You must know that “the battle is the Lord’s” (1 Samuel 17:47) and He says, “Vengeance is Mine” (Romans 12:19). Even if you are currently trying to win justice in the earthly court system, rest assured the abuser is under God’s judgment from the moment the crime is manifested.

Many criminals come to know Jesus Christ once subject to judgment. Truly know that you have been made wiser and stronger because of your experience, and you have a powerful testimony for other victims who need to know that “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (Psalm 46:1). He is our Comforter. He is our Healer. Stay strong in your relationship with Him, because as I wandered away before, the wolves were right there to devour me, and so shall they be!

For abusers who will not repent, we know that they should indeed "fear the One who has the power to destroy both soul and body in hell.”

Now that I'm on the other side, I am reminded of Romans 8:28 and encouraged that "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

Revelation 12:11 "And they [we] overcame him [Satan] because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their [our] testimony."